Music didn't give relief to the soul, nor did it unburden the worries from one's heart. In fact it added more stress and pressure.
Yet, looking back, I have to say music has in one way or the other, always been my muse. Even though I have denounced music now and again and again, I find that ultimately music defines the influence I am under and the my mode of thinking. It shows where I am journeying at. And the very fact that sometimes I saw the pointlessness of music beckons to the truth that music is only a medium. It isn't water. It is only the bucket.
This explains my fascination with music that I don't necessarily comprehend, and music that does not spell things out too clearly for me. Like sound tracks from films that make you imagine places and situations. Like hindi music and oldies music from America and Europe (with words that I only half understand) that make me imagine the past and see the unseen through my imagination. Foreign sounds that makes me see things I wouldn't normally see when I listen to popular music.
That way, for me, music became the bucket to carry my imagination (the water) forward. To take my imagination places. It seemed fulfilling most of the time. Most of the time.
But I couldn't possibly live on that. Imagination, like water runs stale too easily. That was why I got tired of music too easily, too many times.