Monday, November 30, 2009


Pray for Pauly who had a major operation.

He is going to have heaps more stories to tell of God's greatness, when this episode is over..

untitled IV

AND.......... probably my last post for the month of November, JUST so that the number of posts this month SHOULD beat October's count (which was 17. With this last post, it becomes 18 for November!)

Tonight is TRANSFORM at the Majestic. It will be good.

untitled III

Sometimes I can stare at the face of fire and still be cold. I am afraid that I am capable of this.
But then as much as that, I realise I can stare at the face of ice and still remain warm. Flip side of everything, they say.

untitled II

I was reading Africa's Mountains of the Moon in my Business Class. Michael Mertz, our business tutor was talking about Business PLans, which we talked about with Simon, the other day in our Jordi Duff Clinic meeting with him.

And it feels like what used to happen in college and school when I'd snuck in a book and read or doddle all over the page while the lectures drone away in the background. And being bored in lectures is one of the best time to think up ideas and make use of the sketchbook.

Anyway, it's just a short break between two sessions of Business Studies class. And the second session starts in five minutes on the Mezzanine floor.

tell me

it was supposed to answer my questions. but i took it in and it gave me more questions.

Saturday, November 28, 2009


This morning I woke up feeling a bit heavy headed. But then I stepped out onto the balcony and the fresh air distilled by the summer rain broke through all the heaviness. I made myself tea and grabbed my stuff for my quiet time.

Wrote this one then:
"I want to sit under a cool dripping fern in a light rain, feel the cloud brush against my face, see a mountain peek from between passing mists. Listen to a running brook and hear a glistening tree shift gently in the wind. I want to come away with You, somewhere new, somewhere deep."

It is a beautiful morning. Though I love summer a lot, it is a nice change today.

What Happened Between Then And Now

I was going to go off to sleep when a thought struck me. I have another account on Orkut, which is another social networking site, big in India. Personally I prefer Facebook over Orkut but I remained there for the sake of many friends there. Anyway there is a guy who used to be my class mate a very long time ago, before he moved away from Shillong to Delhi, I think.

I remember he used to be a whizz kid, who boasted about his prowess in computer and those basic computer stuffs, and all these when computers used to be the rare unapproachable new thing that everyone marvelled. He would talk about how he played games in it and do quizzes on the computer.

Then I met up with him in Orkut again, apparently he is IIT Gurgaon now, which is like the hot spot for information technology, in India, and even worldwide because most good IT schools are in India.

But his profile picture was disappointing to say the least. He stood with some hand pose and sunnies with brown-ish shirt on. What happened to that smart fellow who threw the class in awe with his stories with computer? How did he become so....... lame and normal? His quotations in his profile page were hardly inspirational too, stuff about life being music and dance and love and those sort of.. stuff. What happened in the middle of then and now?


Thursday, November 26, 2009

cat walking meowwwwwrrrrrrr!

I think I did a muscle pull squating in the gym. It hurts even when I walk. so I am tip toeing my way around class and to home, almost cat walking. Meow meow.

I think Colin McCahon is clearly one of my favourite artists. He was unintentionally mixing up graphic design and fine arts. And his spiritual references from the Bible were real intense works. Read my blog post on Colin McCahon in my other blog (

I'm busy working on Rwanda art piece these days. It is turning out well. Just need me to spend heaps of time on it.

posing away.... and all

the painting (below) is far from finishing and so no judging till ii is finished.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

About Mountains of the Moon

I issued a book on the source of River Nile in Africa, called the mountains of the Moon. I am not sure if I have blogged about it already. Anyway its about a team of adventurers and biologists who climb these mountains to locate the source of the Nile and also document the vegetation of these areas.

It is a beautiful place there. The mountains are so properly hidden away and obscured by the rain clouds that only in 1890 was it discovered.

Imagine that.

Europeans had been there in that part of Africa since the 1600s when they divided the continent up in what was called cutting the African 'cake'. But for almost 200 years no one knew where the river Nile came from. Surely it had to start somewhere. It couldn't have started from the sea because, well, it is fresh water and rivers don't start from seas. It couldn't start from a normal mountain because the mountain had to be really high with enough storage of ice and snow to feed the river perennially. Europeans had been passing that direction within viewing distance but no one sighted these mountains that were the actual source of Nile because the clouds always covered them.

Nile, according to legends and mythology has its source from the moon. Therefore the mountains are called Mountains of the Moon, where Nile began.

African forests and mountains are landscapes I have never really thought about or been fascinated about. But the variety and lushness of it all intrigues me now.

Tomorrow I will return that book about the mountains. And I regret not having finished reading it. Or maybe I will return it day after and read it tomorrow night.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

summer day

Cucumber and summer day go so well together. Sunlight streams through my blinds and there's people outside talking on the walkway. My window blinds click and clack as they danced to the slight movement in the air disturbing and displacing everything I keep on my window sill. I will clean them again tonight, half of them are on the floor already anyway.

I will be heading out of my house soon to get my painting moving on again. But not to think of that. I can see the reflection of myself on the computer screen with lines of sunlight on my shoulders. And my flat mates are engrossed in a game of Pro Evolution Soccer - hardcore gamers they are.


Summer is here for real. Yesterday on my way back from the art studio at church, I lied on the grass at the park and watched the grey clouds shift slowly above the city. It was so warm. The kind of temperature that makes you remember the word 'midsummer evening'. I swear I could lie there all night and it wouldn't even get cold.

OK I got to rush off, Singsing is waiting at our class door asking to go for coffee up on 6 floor, the favourite haunt for D&A students.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Glorifying The Past

Sometimes, people who just can't stop wistfully talking about their past as though they were the best days of their lives annoy me. It is a common misconception that the past was always better than the present. I do not believe that my life was better when I was younger than how it is now. It is true that sometimes in life, we go through peak times when, maybe everything we did succeeded, or we go through times when things just don't work the way we want at all.

That is because everyone sees the past through good memories. If his/her week was made up of 4 days of good mood days and 3 days of bad mood days, people, when they look back, remember only the 4 good days of that week. I guess it is a good thing. But it is not good if it makes people think that the past was always better than present.

It is almost like saying the music and movies from the past were far better than they are now, which is not logical because the music and the movies that we see now have been filtered by time and popularity, and hence we see only the good few that has survived all these times, and not the everyday random ones that people of that era also might have detested.

Friday, November 20, 2009

ping pong pang

Today at the Table Tenning club, the lady there who registers the people coming in and out took our 4$ entry fee and wrote it down. Then she turned away fishing for bats and balls. She asked,

"Got balls?"

Awkward silence.................................. She stopped.

"Uh yeah yeah, got them." I mumbled.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Yeah, real awkward.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

things i'm finger crossed about

1. Jordi Duff Clinic launch: it's looking like the launch date has to be pushed back again. AS Designs, Auckland messing up with our supplies and even the men's tees haven't turned up til now, not to mention special custom made women's. But once it launches it will be the dope-est design label out. With many prayers.
2. {OB!} magazine: is due tomorrow and I am looking forward to designing it all day today. It is looking real sweet, just need to finish up the cover page and the travel page and chuck in the photography (two pages). Can't wait to see the final works.
3. Simon's Rwanda painting: will be beautiful. I just bought the white massive board. MASSIVE I promise. 
4. Screen Printing: Got to start finishing the design and print be ready for emulsion by monday.
5. Worship leading: this sunday leading the song 'Tear Down The Walls' at morning church and possibly lead in a prayer, if I feel up to it. Sonya my co-leader is an awesome singer btw and she is good.
6. JOB AFTER GRADUATION: Possibly my biggest concern. I am relying on finding one immediately, which will save me a heck lot of worry and waste of time and energy. I just need to find something to do right now, with something remotely related to designing, since I have got Jordi Duff Clinic running about already.
Big times coming up, and big times I am treading on.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

sowing and reaping

Whatever you sow you reap. When you sleep or eat or walk or work os sit, the seeds that you sow keep growing somewhere, inside your life. If you sow depression, you reap depression, if you sow hope you reap life, if you sow life you reap life, if you sow time you reap its value.

Sometimes I am bothered by the things that I sow into my own life. What will I reap one day. I hardly know what I even sow, and that scares me more. I should try and think about what I spend my time on, what I spend my thoughts on, and think about what I will reap later when the harvest comes. If I sow weed I cannot expect to harvest crops. It's as straight as that.

Think about the future, think about what will make you happy tomorrow and sow for that. Not saying you forsake how you feel today and only think about the future, because it is more important to live now than later. But then if I am sowing something good now, it also means that I am living well. And if I don't start now and think about tomorrow, when will I start? I cannot start tomorrow because in that case tomorrow I will have nothing to reap, or worse I will reap the fruit of time and energy wasted.

Today my portion was about the Kingdom being like a farmer who goes out to sow and then he goes back and goes about his daily business like sleeping, eating and waking up, and in that meantime what he threw into his fields kept growing and eventually there came a time for him to harvest. It is a beautiful imagery of how everything we do bears fruits. And as much as it is beautiful, it is scary if I have not been living my life well enough.

Monday, November 16, 2009


noble birthed.

on creativity and new music.

Very few things baffle me these days as much as music that sits on the box charts and top rated lists. Crazy stuff that sounds real simple, but added with a right mix of smart-ness and more smartness. Music today aren't exactly profound or even technically and musically outstanding. They are just smart. It is the sort of music that makes you feel it came up in fluke moments. But I appreciate the smartness involved in it. I respect the risk that musicians and producers take to throw out new stuff out there. Sometimes the same things become tedious and boring. I guess people and the world has become tired of fawning over the old age of music. Or even if they still love the old music, they make something new out of it. 
It is the age of free spread of ideas and creativity.

It is the best time and era for me as an artist to be alive in. I believe in that.

This is not just in music. 

Sometimes, however, the extreme freedom in spread of ideas and creativity lurks like a threat to the career of a designer like me. You go online and you see people who aren't 'designers' by profession making crazy stuff that are as good as professional works, I do end up feeling a little disturbed, to be honest.

But ... really? Are they threat? If I think about it, there is no threat in real art and creativity. Creativity is building something out of nothing. You can never ever run out of space to imagine. Never. Even if 6 billion people created stuff every moment all the time, there will always be something to keep creating. If 6 billion were building houses, the earth will run out of space. If 6 billion were doing accounts the earth would  run out of account jobs easily. But even if 6 billion people become creative, there would always be space for more creativity. 

Of course if even 2 billion people were doing graphic design jobs, then there would be no more design work vacancy left. But then if our lives, everyday endeavours were sparked by creativity and newness, there will always be space to grow for everyone.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

about people leaving

Its crazy to think how people come and go. Someone as close as Han can just leave like that one fine day without thinking of coming back. How intertwined lives can be so pulled apart like this. Today he flies back to Korea. And atleast Thiu lives in Korea and there is still a chance of keeping the friendship alive through him.
Situations and demands of live can so easily and conveniently pull people in and out of one's life. That just baffles me. What about people I know now? Will I, one day say goodbye to them too?
Atleast there is this conventional (I have to say, conventional to be honest, because my 'modern' self tells me to find a better escape) and deep believe that one day despite all the tearing apart here on earth, there will a reunion for all people who believe in Jesus. This is not some exclusive club or party that only Christians are allowed entry into. I think there will be a lot of people. Provided they found a way to get there without being a Christian (I will not go into that for now haha. No blasphemous talk on my blog entry here).
Anyway, as I was saying, it baffles me that people I know so well have become just memories now. Its the thing about life I guess. Whether it's too blunt to accept it or not, I can only be thankful that they have been there for that time of my life (as much as I have been there for that time of
their life).
The birds are singing outside. Summer came and hugged my window this morning. I hope it is here to stay. We will need that when we see people leave.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

j.k. rowling

i was set free because my greatest fear had been realised and i was still alive. and i still had a daughter whom i adored. and i had an old typewriter. and a big idea. and so rock bottom became solid foundation on which i rebuilt my life.
you might never fail on the scale i did. but some failure in life is inevitable. it is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you lived so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all. in which case you fail by default.