a scene from Prem Kahani

"Negative hai na? Phir se photo bana de!", tells a friend to Rajesh Khanna when the teacher takes away a photo of his girl friend's photo, acted by Mumtaz.

haha, I love it. Another random scene for Sirion Diaries.

(Prem Kahani)

What I am doing with two hours out of my twenty four

I am stealing two hours of my twenty hours to get off facebook and chat rooms and devoted time instead to learning Adobe After Effects and Adobe Flash. The two programmes that make the world go round these days.

Courtesy the kind generosity of Professor Internet who is offering to help me for free.

Hopefully I will have close-to-mastered these programmes in a month's time. And maybe I can move on to Final Cut Pro and similar video editing softwares.

God is good. This is the time to learn.

More Rubbish from James Potter

So typical. This gets worse. There is this school exchange thing and some kids (like when Durmstrang and Beauxbatons came over) from American Ministry of Magic comes over to Hogwarts. They haven't turned up yet, so far, from how much I have read but Professor McGonagall is announcing it at the Feast.

Rubbish.

from Ghost in the Shell

Heaps of good quotes taken from Ghost in the Shell movies. Also my present facebook status: But to be human is to continually change. Your desire to remain as you are is what ultimately limits you. (Ghost In The Shell).

But also- Inspector: All I could see was my wife and children. (Tadou:) That wasn't your wife and children. That was the Grim Reaper.

Why Quantum Physics

Every interpretation of the universe is an interpretation, and no more, of the instruments used, and where they are located in space and time.
Robert Anton Wilson

James Potter

Reading James Potter and the Elder's Crossing, a fan fiction of Harry Potter's son James Potter, on his first year to Hogwarts.

Not great yet. But will get there, I hope. Jame's new best friend is American guy. Bull shit.

Hello Kitty

I hate to say it, but Hello Kitty was a sign of an immature country. Now we've grown up and can express ourselves confidently.

Kyoko Higa, a fashion designer

Wanderlust


This is a digital art I did for my illustrated blog. Go there and see AT ONCE (click here to see) if you haven't ever been there. But anyway, this is a painting inspired by a scene at Cafe Dose in Hereford Street Christchurch. It wasn't the best cafe I have been to. Clearly, I have been fooled by the smart and interesting branding they had going on.
Sad victim of the advertisement, yes you can call me.

But I read a magazine there, a travel magazine that carried scenes of New Zealand and its remarkable landscapes, especially of the mountains. It is a hot day today and it feels like summer doesn't want to leave. That's good.

But I was bit by wanderlust again. I want to pack my bags and go off somewhere else and see the thundering mountains draped here and there by wisps of clouds, and gnarled trees, grey and dark.

Maybe it's about time I make up for all the bitching I have done in the past about New Zealand. As time goes by, and I am seeing more of the greens and mountains (and also hear about the deep tropical forests of North Island that I am yet to see) I am realising that I very much would have been wishing I was here, were I back in India and reading about New Zealand from some travel magazines.

There are many reasons that New Zealand is growing into me. I don't mean to try and explain them all here. But I will continue to write them as they expose themselves to me bit by bit.

For now, its the rocky mountain, that I will never forget. Half lit by the sun, looking sinister like a castle of a strange beast.

about a painting and a new blog

TOday I did a painting, watercolour after a loooooooooooong spell of only black and white art. I will scan them up and post them on deviantart. Maybe not on facebook, I am double thinking about putting art up on facebook, because well, it is too public, and as much as there is a plus point in that, there can be a minus point too.

Whatever.

I begun a new blog. This one will be for writing. The new one will be for comics and illustrations, all custom drawn for the blog specifically if you know what I mean. Check it out: http://ohben-ohblog.blogspot.com/

To live such a life for a minute is precious.

My story is not a story of great battles won. My story is not a story of mighty works. My story is not a story of helping humanity see the light. As much as I wish it is.

My story is the story of grace. It is a story of being accepted when I shouldn't have been. My story is a story of wrongs being overlooked. Of other people standing with me when they didn't have to; when I myself, if I were in their shoes, wouldn't have stood. A story of sacrifices and sweat and tears by others.

My story is not a story about me. It is about other people. EVerything good in me now is a result of other people who sacrificed for me, who cried for my sake. I am a walking talking testimony of sacrifices made by other people. I put up a face here, and walk the streets alive because somewhere out there is someone who prays consistently for me. I didn't wake up alive this morning because I have to. But because someone else sacrificed something selflessly so that I could be alive today again.

To live such a life for a minute is precious. To live such a life everyday every moment, every hour is indescribable. A prisoner who is allowed to live on for a day, when he should have been executed, will feel the same. He would see daylight in a different eye. He would even see the brick concrete walls of the prison with a different light. He would shake the hands of the prison guards, knowing that he couldn't have been seeing and meeting life when he was already dead and gone.

The air that everyone breathes will smell to him like the sweetest he has ever smelt. He would literally treasure every minute of that day.

{oh big-words!}

If Sir Isaac Newton lives today, gravity would still not be discovered. Because, think about it, what are the chances of an Apple Macbook falling from a tree?

Alan Lee's Lord of the Rings Sketchbook

I am going through a book called The Lord of the Rings Sketchbook by Alan Lee. He spent 6 years studying the landscape of New Zealand, architecture and other mythology (he had the experience of having illustrated the LOTR book before the concept of the movie was birthed, and also a lot of other mythological books including the Norse). In the span of six years he made 2,500 drawings, hundreds of digital works and also a lot of designs.

The whole look of the film is pretty much defined by his drawings. He pretty much designed Minas Tirith, Minas Morgul, Lothlorien, Rivendell's waterfalls and buildings, the halls of Edoras, and just about everything you saw in the film. Amazing feat I have to say.

True genius, accompanied by hard work. That is what makes it work. That's my conclusion after seeing the book.

updates

Discovered that I can download Harry Potter sound track from the beginning (Sorcerer's Stone to Order of the Phoenix) and just did that. Will keep me occupied for a few weeks atleast.

Photos from Flock Hill

Dominic might kill me for posting these photos here, but there is a chance he might spare me because none of these shots are Narnia-related. And he doesn't want anyone to see what we have done (reference to: the real reason why we went to Narnia locations, which is to shoot photos exactly like stills from the movie replacing the original characters with himself and his friends). These are just random shots.


For this one, I wasn't posing at all. It just looks like it. I was wearing Peter's (from Narnia) jacket that he wore in the movie (just a remake, not the original of course). Look at the mountains in the background! And the flag is the original from the movie. The ACTUAL from the movie sets.


This one, I was posing. Mountains mountains mountains. As beautiful as ever!!


My favourite pose.


My favourite pose II

Stopping by for a photoshoot and a painting.

Cucumber at outdoor picnic. yummmm

photos on facebook

Some photos on other people's facebook annoy me. It's wrong to feel so because, well, facebook is public space and everyone has any right to put anything up. And I guess I have a right to be annoyed about some of them.

What I witnessed today demanded a lot of reverence.

Dalai Lama called Castle Hill, and the adoining areas, of course, the 'spiritual centre of the universe'. Today I was there and as the sun lowered itself and cast orange glow on the mountains, all the words I could muster was 'other-worldly'. It wasn't pretty. It wasn't anything I have ever felt like, actually.

The dark blue stony faces of the mountain, rigged and rugged were abashedly lit. And the wide expanse of rolling grassland laid spread.

I am too tired to be very poetic and romantic about it. But it was nothing less spiritual, what I felt up there. I am not surprised at how people end up bowing down to the mountain and the sky.

What I witnessed today demanded a lot of reverence.


After a quick hike up a hill to survey the site where the original shooting for the movie The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe happened. I got too tired and I had to sit put for a while, without talking. On top of the hill where the path was just a feet across (and just from the edge of that path, the drop was steep to a hundred metres below, where it meets the wide expanse of the grassland) I started to feel dizzy (not because I am afraid of heights, and if so I had every reason to fear there) but because I hadn't had a proper meal yet and I was too out of breath. So I stuck to the hill side and regained my posture before I attempted to return back down.


Still surveying more scenes from the film. This banner is the actual one used in the actual movie. Dominic Ang is a crazy collector and I cannot begin to tell you all the things he has. (Including the Ring from the Lord of the Rings, which was used to shoot the scene where it is shot against a flame of fire in the beginning of part one, and the crazy thing is that, there are only eight pieces of these Rings on earth. And this guy has one of those!)

I will post more photos up. You will see them on my facebook. Otherwise I will put them up here too with descriptions.

success and happiness

What is the secret of success? Or what is even success? Is it making money? Is it being well regarded by other people because of what you do? Is Barack Obama successful? Was George Bush successful? He became the President of America. Wow, isn't it? But he got laughed at. Is Barack Obama successful? Everyone loves him. As of now. But what if he does something wrong? He stops being successful?

Is a Pastor of a mega-church successful? DOes he never wake up one random morning, despite all the good things happening to him and his church, and feel like crap. Like everything inside him just got sucked out of him? Is he still successful?

I think that humans try and acheive the state of the other worldly, beyond humanity itself. Which I will call happiness. This happiness is not the same as eating an ice cream on a hot day. Nor is it like scoring big time with a hot girl. Nor is it the same as helping a person out with something, when you feel the warmth growing inside your heart.

This happiness is not the feeling that needs other people to tell you that you are indeed happy. You know you are happy. And that's just it. Even when you're completely honest about it to yourself, you still know you are happy.

I don't think anyone on earth can feel this sort of happiness. It is something that God is. Beyond human reach.

And to go back to my first question, is success comparable to happiness?

Happiness, however, the happiness reachable by humans, is the level of existence where you have enough food as you need, enough roof above your head, a family of loved ones.

Maslow's heirarchy of needs. The basic three. Nothing more, nothing less.

ANyway to end this on a comprehensible mode, even to myself, I think that success is an illusion. A lie. Unnecessary lie. Because humans will continue to fight for life and the right to live, even when there is no illusion like success. The will to live in people is strong. The idea of success makes this fight feel worse.

I think the capitalists invented the word success.

Blake Lively at David Letterman

Watch the video here (link to the youtube video)

Letterman: Gossip Girls is about upper east side New York kids, in prep school, and someone who does this blog that is gossippy.....(and so on..)
Lively: You know it! You watch it! (laughs)
Letterman: (laughs) Sad, isn't it?
--
Haha, David Letterman is fun, man.

an update

I just finished working on synopsises for SIrion DIaries part one and part two. I like the way it is turning out to be. The way in part one you could never anticipate what happens in part two, and similarly in part two you can never anticipate what happens in part three. I don't have a clear vision of what will happen in part three though I have already signed off the progression of story as much as part two is concerned.

I am curious and excited. WHat will become of Nigel and Kim Swu, and Tenzin? What will become of Deirdre? And Turpin Bridge?

Bill Jacklin - Before the Hurricane



I discovered this painting in the Dorling Kindersley 'An INtroduction to Art Techniques' that I issued from the library.

WHat can you say about a painting like this. Stunning and caught my imagination. Took me into the rain and I heard the cars and buses shuffling with the thunder adding to the din.

Beautiful.

Philosophy of facebook statuses

Philosophy of facebook statuses:

Katie Leung, Cho Chang

Stumbled on some photos of Katie Leung. She is the actress in Harry Potter who took the role of Cho Chang, from Ravenclaw, love interest of Harry Potter for a couple of years.






She was also named the most stylish girl/lady/woman (dunno) in Britain, one time. And she was picked above all other Asian British girls, some who had more acting experience than she did, because of her Scottish accent.

Disclaimer: This post about Katie Leung is nothing stalkish btw. I just found the photos and thought they deserve a post on my blog.

from Big Bang Theory III

Raj Koothrapali: I wonder what the non-pathetic people are doing tonight.
-----
Penny: He's a musician, he will sleep on his own vomit if he has to.
-----

familiar singing

Talking to my brother Pouchun and he's singing to some old school metal while he chats with someone on facebook (I am on Skype with him now). Familiar singing. :)

a new story

I got a new story. Of a disaster in A city. About how humans become savage in the face of disaster. Of how a train station is melting after a bomb was dropped. In the future, bleak and walled.

In my dream.

PS. I don't know how and whether this story will turn into a comic book. If it does it has to be atleast 50 pages long. And I know how intense that work is. How I may have to spend about two months of dedicated attention to complete it. Dedicated unwavering attention. We will see..

Frodo's line

I spent half my childhood wishing I was away from the Shire, on one of your adventures, Bilbo. My own adventure turned out a bit different.
(from The Fellowship of the Rings)

some thought.s.

Sometimes I wonder if my art and skill in drawing has improved at all since I started doing Sirion Diaries.

At times I feel like I still do the same things, that I still stick to black line works.

But no. I have become very consistent and much more controlled. My style has become more definite. When people see my drawings, they know its mine.

THat's a massive improvement.

random

drumming. i like this guy, drummer from Hillsong United. He is not particularly extraordinary. But he's cool. Also he is Kiwi.

youtube link

About many things.

My newest favourite magazine Oyster (go to their site), that I saw for the first time in c1 cafe (their website).

I won't get over c1. It is the best cafe in NZ.

But I am here to talk about style magazine.

Another one I like is Russh.

Vogue is always there. Vogue Australia sucks. Vogue India, on the other hand, is good.

I think in New Zealand and Australia, the independent magazines are far better. Theres something about big merchandising brands that puts me off when it comes to New Zealand. Like Starbucks. I don't like it here. India Starbucks is ok. I will explain why later. I don't like Vogue here, I like the India version. Instead here, I love c1 cafe, Cafe Lumes and another independent cafe in Dunedin that really caught my fancy though I have only been there once.

Well the reason I don't prefer big merchandising brand in Christchurch is because they are too corporate and business minded and its too obvious. MacDonald's is in my opinion the culmination of everything I hate about business: Yellow. Uniforms. Realism advertisements that sparks of Americanism. Fats. Fake smiles. Plastic face of MacDonald brand image (re:fake smiles). Intense advertisements. Attempts to hook children into brand loyalty.

The idea that Starbucks are run by people whoa are answerable to bosses who in turn report to a bigger guy at the national level and then eventually an even bigger buy in USA. Like the food chain. The bosses don't give a shit about you at the grass root level. Whereas in independent ventures, you are run by the boss or you are your own boss. The boss knows your name, and he knows your number. And calls you up randomly when he is bored. (maybe)

And this post started with magazines, and see where it has led me.

Well same is the case with independent magazines, compared to big companies like Vogue or whatever.

{oh big-words!}

Drawing comics (and Sirion Diaries) is a battle against oneself. You have to keep telling yourself you can put the images in your mind to your paper, that it is worthwhile. Keep convincing yourself that your hands aren't tired, that you haven't run out of ideas, and you can go on another frame, another page, another chapter. You really don't run out of ideas until you admit you have run out of ideas.

you never run out of ideas until you admit you have run out of ideas. {oh big-words!}

Rain

It's been a while since my feet itch because of the cold. Today it's raining quite heavily, all day. And I loved walking in the rain, enjoyed the cold and the unmannered drops that splash now and then on my face.

I went to Clinton's to work on Elly's cover design. It's looking soo good. The photography's awesome to say the least. The clothing sponsored by World and InfDef, both High Street looked fabulous.

Anyway I am back home now, got a few hours before I head off to cell group at 730, Dominic's place. It is still raining slightly, I just made myself some coffee. Put the music on, and looking forward to and afternoon of more pages of Sirion DIaries.

Nothing makes me happier.

Crush

For a long time last year it was Leighton Meester (here with Blake Lively, the blonde chick, her co-star from Gossip GIrl).
Now it's Emma Watson. If you follow my blog in tumblr you will see. Check out my tumblr blog.

Emma Watson (here) and (more)who modelled for Burberry and acted Hermione Granger wins by sheer smartness and cool-ness which Leighton Meester lacks I think, because she is just a pretty face and an ok singer. AND because she's British.

so, TADA!!!!!! the winner................. EMMA WATSON! It's a tough world out there, and how long will Emma Watson surivive? You will see, when Crush Episode II returns!!!!

(hahaha, useless.)

Why I love Christchurch


Lately I've been going about looking at houses since my cousin and I are thinking of moving. And Christchurch is very beautiful. The trees and the houses are so pretty. That's how I realise that I am starting to love Christchurch.



Diary 2008

I found my diary from 2008 in my stacks of books here in my room. It was sheer delight to go through my life back then. I will put in some of them. But for starters here is one:
10 January 2008: Was a very off day. Still no sign of the passport. Then IELTS Jan 19 got shifted to Calcutta and no more Guwahati.
Ended the day in Centrepoint having tea with Andrew and Jameris, discussing IELTS feb 2nd. Atleast we are ready to go, our mindset.
Ah, my mind's cramped with small town prejudices and Speed Post woes.
I don't even feel like writing tonight.
and..
14 january 08:: today was quite eventless day, except that Gonok and I went to cyber cafe and lodged a request to the Regional Passport Office to look into my passport problems. And yes, Daniel (remember that little African kid, with the Costa Rican family?? hahaha) was here, the most energetic human being I have ever come across.
then had a good talk with Pa about everything, then with Ching, venting our frustrations over recent developments with Zik. And of course talking about his basketball exploits.

My Name is Khan

My Name Is Khan: Karan Johar's infatuation with America continues. God, how embarrassing was that! 'We will lick your fingers, just notice us, please!' Good acting, however, saves the film. Everyone did as they were told, to a fairly good level. THe music was hideous, like keyboard operated music from some cheap serial they show in Doordarshan. Seriously. But cinematography and photgraphy was great. Very well done. And drama typical in Bollywood films also painfully evident. At the end of it all, one imagines how ridiculous is it that Isvan Khan gets the countenance of the American President? Clearly, high budget infatuation.

The Great Prophecy over New Zealand

New Zealand, why have thou no Comics Industry! Have thou not heard? Comics will be the subculture of the FUTURE?! Catch up, New Zealand, or you'll be sorry!

updates

Weird day. Strange. Went for a ride with Agus, Singsing and Han, checked out some houses on Manchester Street, Colombo and Peterborough. Then we went to get Fish&Chips from Church Corner from some Asian supermarket place. As we drove around and saw houses, I realised I had taken so much things for granted and never really realised that New Zealand is growing into me. Something deep inside me is starting to call the open spaces of Christchurch home, the bright skies and the shaky trees at the intersections of roads.

It is the sort of day, however inspiring it has been, when you don't want to do anything, and all you want to do is sleep and hope tomorrow you wake up feeling more ready to take on the world. A day like today is useless. All work I have done is sketch a few more samples of ELLY-DO YA DANCE into my notepad.

Well the night is still young. I still have a few hours of tonight for redemption before I sign off the day as utter vanity.

Also I slept in the afternoon on the couch in my room, with my jacket thrown over myself and my phone tightly wrapped in my palm (so I will know if someone in dire needs is calling) and gave in to the impulse of sleeping. It was a deep sleep, many times drifting awake now and then when the phone kept falling off my hands. How kind is sleep that it doesn't even let you hold anything in your hands while it soothes you.

And as I slept I had the most random of dreams. For example some of the staff that works in the Chinese restaurant who owns the apartments I live in came into my room in my dream, and I said, oh the chinese guy, and he replied. I am me, I am not 'the chinese guy' and I felt real bad because I was being racist. And then in the next chapter of my dream, Singsing had brought his fashion design stuff into my room and he was hanging it up to dry. And it was a massive bed cover with some prints on it. He said he had to submit this bed sheet by monday (because in my dream it was Saturday). And the room was smoky and hazy with steams from the wet bed sheet evaporating.

By the river

When you listen long enough you start to hear things. That people scorn you and laugh silently behind your back. That they have started to build walls in front of you so you can never belong again.

And the reason why it happened will never be known for you have been banished forever from the festivals.

You stare at the passing river. You know you need to jump in. But you only sit and watch it. Somehow, not acting on what is required of you thrills you in a not-so-thrilling way. You start to hear music that makes you afraid. You start to hear words in your ears that couldn't be more wrong and more right at the same time.

**
Late night. Damn it.

List

I feel like making another list again as I did, before going to Shillong for holidays and another right before my exhibition. If you follow the pattern, I make lists in my blog only when it is getting very very busy and there are normally more than five stuffs to fill into the list.

It is a similar time of my life. One would think that since it is past graduation now, I'd become more tuned to home and 'getting some rest' and so on. But not so with me.

Right after graduation, today has been the first time that I had the time to go into college and meet some of the tutors. And I had a very good talk with my Business Studies tutor Michael Mertz about.... well, I will talk about that elsewhere. But as I was saying, it is a very busy time, contrary to what I thought when I told Denise that I'd be in college most of the time last week. WHich did NOT happen at all since I was glued to my interning and some other design work. I haven't even gotten time to do my comics.

Here goes the list:

1. Lovelight Productions, where I interned last week and still have a few stuff to round up.
2. A website design for Comspec Ltd. which is nearing completion.
3. DESIGNING FOR ELLY!!!!!! haha, my favourite project for now. She is probably the next big thing, and I was pretty stoked when Andre (her husband and her manager maybe) asked me if I want to design for her singles release 'Elly- Do Ya Dance!'....... so yeah! Doing that.
4. Painting for Joel Hanssen, the guy who manages C1 cafe, the best cafe in New Zealand, voted by magazines and polls. Some Pop art-ish cartoon-ish art, and he wants some tribal Naga element popped in too. Not much. And a black pug.
5. Jordi Duff Clinic, which should have been on the number 1 on this list, opens its pre-orders today. Singlets and tees for men and women. Going to be big if we keep pushing.
6. Random sketching for Michelle of her and Sarah Kirner.
7. Another random sketching for Danny and Michele Rosewall. Who are just getting public about their relationship on facebook.
8. {oh book!} a comic book, keep looking for publisher and possibilities.
9. Stage background design for CREATE school productions on Easter, conceptual drawings.
10. I know there is something else here...

Sirion Diaries (conceptually for now)

is about a girl who is a demon and a demon who is a girl.

moon

the moon shines down on my table as i write. i turn off the lights. the city sleeps now. sighing cars now and then.